You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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