That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
It's blow job season.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH