Texts From Last Night

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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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  (506): drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure http://tfl.nu/j4nn
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.

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  (570): My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7sdv
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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  (214): She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca http://tfl.nu/k60q
  Replies (19) Good night (1213) Bad night (6779) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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  (734): you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm. http://tfl.nu/i6hi
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

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  (303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm
  Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (3546) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

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  (254): There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option. (512): That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too. http://tfl.nu/lz3p
  Replies (9) Good night (2773) Bad night (1075)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye

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  (318): I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye http://tfl.nu/xi6q
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You threw up with your ski mask on still.

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  (410): You threw up with your ski mask on still. http://tfl.nu/wyp5
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.

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  (330): Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/sax7
  Replies (7) Good night (585) Bad night (2334) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.

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  (423): I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day. http://tfl.nu/soww
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

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  (570): We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves. http://tfl.nu/ccdq
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.

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  (314): Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge. http://tfl.nu/n4av
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  (406): View more from Montana

  There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.

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  (406): There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/fovj
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.

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  (314): I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move. http://tfl.nu/5xj0
  Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (258) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You mean maximum 5?

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  (306): I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself (1-306): You mean maximum 5? http://tfl.nu/1ybr
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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