I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
