haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
