Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
