It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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