Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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