Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
