I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need a burrito and a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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