i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
