In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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