The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
