yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
