Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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