True but thats because hes a fetus.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize