His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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