I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
