dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
