You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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