I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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