i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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