I want to have your abortion
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
