Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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