Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Randomize
