i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
