Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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