Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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