if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Let's get the cat blown out
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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