its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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