the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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