i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
