if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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