my sisters under your porch take her home
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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