normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
