I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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