Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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