I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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