Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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