exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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