I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize