so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
