hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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