@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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