That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He shit in the fireplace
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