Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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