You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
