he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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