Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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