Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
