Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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