Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
