I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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