remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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