Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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