i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
