You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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