you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
