I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Michael Bay diarrhea
time to smoke my breakfast
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
