Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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