i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
