If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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