I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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