How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
