1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
