u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
