People with herpes should wear stickers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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