I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize