My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
